God's Absolute Goodness

Seven days ago, Nash and I experienced the miscarriage of our sweet, 10-week-old child. It feels like lifetimes have passed, and I cannot imagine why the world has passed me by while this tragic event has happened. It feels as though it would be appropriate for the world to be at a standstill and mourn such a victory that sin has triumphed over us.

I'm sure many people feel this way after a loss or a tragedy occurs. I feel as if I could sleep for days on end and I would still wake up tired, discontent, circumstances unchanging. I feel this way, and it is true. However, I have learned that my initial thought of death through sin being a victor is a shallow and fleeting thought.

The truth of the matter is, sin may have triumphed, but only in death. God is still sovereign over all. 

If there is one thing that Nash and I have learned this past week, it's that God's good character is an absolute. It does not change, and circumstance is not outside His view or His control. Carrying a 10-week old child in my womb was good, but God's plan of taking away our child was better.

I may not know why right now, but my microscopic view of this event has a telescopic perspective that is a part of God's sovereign plan for us. 

We get to learn from Paul's account of his suffering that pain and hardship is a great opportunity for Christ's power to rest on us. "But He said to me, "my grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness"."-- 2 Corinthians 12:9

So many people have asked us if we are angry, or assured us that it is an appropriate emotion. However, we have not encountered a hint of doubt or anger towards God's decision. If anything, we feel absolutely humbled. We have realized that none of what we have, we deserve. His grace and mercy abounds all the more. 

We thank God for the opportunity to learn, to grow. And while we have lost so much, we know that there is great gain in the hope that is Christ. 

55 "O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting?" 
56 The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law.
57 But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.
58 Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain. - 1 Corinthians 15:55-58

Family and our Church has been such a stronghold during this time. I am so grateful for their sweet fellowship!


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